woohoo!
me's leaving for NZ in about.. let's see... 5 hours. haha.
clearing me mailbox and stuff... hmmm...

hey amie will see you when i get back ok? by then you'll be used to the heat again. haha. :p

will try to take many many (nice, i hope) pictures.. lala..

in other news, me went trundling around yesterday... covered bits of orchard road, a hospital, an island. hence that picture of the "sunset". well i haven't been out walking in places like that in ages. and it sure is a welcome difference from sitting all day rotting in a chair. haha. oh there was this evil peacock on the abovementioned island that perched on a tree and made rude noises the whole evening. (one can only surmise it was trying to warn the ships far out at sea. of the impending storm.) haha. boing. well.... got drenched by the horrible evil @#$%&~ rain. ended up cold and wet. haha. still, i was glad i got caught in the rain. me likes rain. :p haven't had a good walk/run in the rain in ages. bleh.

the world is not that big a place after all. maybe i'll walk all of it someday. after my mammogram.

seeya~

a bit of sunset before the storm. nice artificial-looking colours. (albeit rather blur...) lala..

packpackpackpackpack
:p
hmmm messed up my room. now there's clothes all over the place.
don't know why suddenly i have no idea what to say. weird.
sigh. brain spoil. again. as usual.

the LOTR exhibition was interesting. i'd hoped for more, actually. haha. but it was interesting and enriching all the same. bleh. Evenstar. wants. hmph. bleah. the production process of the movie(s) was amazing... it's really cool. hmmm.

zzz... brain dead. later.

boo.

after a long time of being bewildered, i finally emailed the embassy person. asked her what's the programme and stuff. well i got a reply today. yay. :p and a form to fill in. haha. hmmm will leave for paris on 7 july. coming back on the 18th. it's mostly in paris and this place called lille (at the northern tip of france).. heh. hmmm it's an all expenses paid thingy. if i'm not wrong i only have to bring shopping money.. haha. will have to spend time poring over the dossier and form with dictionary in hand. sigh, methinks my brain spoiling. hmph.

having a bad cough now. with horrible gloopies. sigh. feeling decidedly feverish as well. if it continues i'll go see doctor tomorrow. shall see about that. hmmm. give my immune system a chance to rectify this booboo. :p

i think i'll sleep early today. for once.
going for the LOTR exhibition at the science centre tomorrow with lynette. eggciting. :p

tune in for more news. haha.

tired. beat. dead. whatever.
performed at the botanic gardens this afternoon. it was hot. and... hot. well. it was quite a fun performance actually. got cute little kids joining us for one of the pieces. haha. funny. a certain birthday boy treated me and fatt to ice cream during the break before the performance started. 77g of haagen dazs belgian chocolate ice cream in a little cup. exorbitantly priced, from cafe les amis at the visitor centre. lala. needless to say, the ice cream made my already sore throat worse. belgain chocolate.... ahh. but yummy. yay. hmmm and thanks to Aminah Huishan and Gitta for coming down to support me despite the heat wave.. :p teehee. after the thingy, i went to my grandma's house, where i haven't been in ages due to the neverending rehearsals i have on sunday evenings... took bus there. 156. was surprised at how quickly i got there. lala. seems like the botanic gardens is/are a friendly place. haha. so far i haven't had any trouble going there or trying to get away from there. lala. crap.

why don't i have air conditioning in my house? hmph.

hmmm i'm leaving this saturday night. ie 29 may. poor Mahler. sigh. coming back on the 13th i think. i haven't packed a single thing and i stil have no idea what i'm going to bring. well. have to figure it out soon. hmmm... have to find a book to bring along too. yup. shall see.

is flirting very important? are bashes, clubs alcohol and dancing important? hmm... i suppose in that light i have zero 'life'. shrug. but i can't imagine myself dressing up (yuk) just to show myself off to potential 'targets' and flirt with people. erm. i dunno. usually when i talk to people (guys and gals) i just talk. rarely do i classify my behaviour as flirting. maybe i'm losing out on certain things, but i don't see what. shrug. can't be bothered. and perhaps that's why [normal typical] guys don't find me interesting. haha. too bad. and i can't dance. part of me harbours the distant fantasy of me dancing. somewhere sometime. with someone, perhaps. i don't really know. blah. shrug.

*croak*
erm... i think i'll go cycling again soon. by myself if i have to. just to feel the wind in my hair again.

of moving buses...

red sky during a storm a few evenings ago...

a new look is underway.
hopefully i don't lose interest in fiddling with it before i produce something satisfactory. lala. :p

today is saturday. and i have band rehearsal later, in the evening. for tomorrow's performance. yay. :p will probably drown in my own perspiration tomorrow. sigh.

i is having a shrewd idea that if i is studying properly i will be able to improve by leaps and bounds. duh. suddenly felt that this is actually something possible. hmm. how amazing. no, don't nag at me, anyone. i don't want to hear it. i know what you are going to say anyway, potential naggers. :p so there.

why does my mother nag/shout/scold/makenoise about me making my own (wrong, to her) decisions when she's asked me to decide by myself? idiotic. major irritation. i'm just a failure. don't want to say anything anymore. good day. shrug.

hmmm... ex-girlfriends.
i've never had any.


haha, so cute right.

updates

today is thursday.
hmmm been playing with [hello], the fun fun message-sending-picture-uploading thingy that recently appeared on blogger. funfun. yay. new toy to entertain me for a bit. i'll destroy the blog soon. revamp it, i suppose. hopefully it'll turn out looking better than it looks now. hmmm. so there. destruction begins with the killing of the bioluminescent shrimp. my darling darling shrimp. sigh. but well. time for a new look. the shrimp was so last-semester-ish. haha.

do i sound unhappy? no? good.

went J8 with mummy (ie Vic) just now. so that she could pass me the shirt she's lending me for sunday's performance at the botanic gardens. why they decided on shirts in this weather is beyond me. well... shrug. anyway we bumped into young mr leng (on purpose) in seiyu. had fun suaning him, as usual. (don't get the wrong idea, he suans back worse :p) hmmm. bought a little notebook for me to scribble in when i'm on the road. yup. discovered McFizz (thanks to mummy) :p i realise i haven't been in macs in ages. becoming swakoo already. hmmm. sprite and orange juice. makes me miss bitter lemon. heh.

monday.
went cycling. saw nice things took nice pictures. visit ender's blog to see some of them. being outdoors in this weather is way better than being indoors*. definitely. so i finally went cycling. and i finally got SUN. mwahahahaha. :p and it was nice that the place was uncrowded for most of the time we were there. weekday. schoolday. well. it was only later in the afternoon that more people appeared. nice nice. no traffic congestion. can you imagine the exhilaration of having the whole bike track to yourself? (save for the person in front who's trying to cycle without hands) :]
*there's always wind at the beach

tuesday.
stayed at home, mostly. went out after dinner to bore someone with french. used the loo at the esplanade. got bitten by the mosquitoes of the neighbour's garden.

wednesday.
went out with joyjoy for a bit. passed her her birthday prezzie. (joy's bday was on the 17th) walked around a bit of city hall and PS and bugis (not in this order) before scooting off for NTU band prac. sigh. to think i was looking forward to not having to return to school during the hols. fat hope. and anyway band prac was horrendous. everything sounded wrong and eeky and just plain terrible. sigh. hopefully things will improve miraculously. concert's just a little more than a month away. sigh.

and today is thursday.
and today is friday.

oh here's a little discovery of lynette's. the blog of someone in bioscience. (we're still trying to figure out who)

well.
goodnight, world.

yet...


another late late night. :p band rehearsals. i guess rehearsals are getting better now that i'm about halfway back on form. heh. long exam break makes me sound like turd. well. :p so, i can tolerate myself better now... except that the conductor for this performance is doing weird things. (people are saying he's, well, not so competent, though he has an LRSM in conducting. :p) shrug. suppers/late dinners will make me fat, i suppose. am waiting for that to happen, though. :] teehee. dun hood me.

shall explain myself.
hmmm i'm a scaredy cat cos i'm not playing for fatt's exam anymore. hmmm. figured if he could find someone who's played the thing before or someone who has better sight-reading skills than me it'll be better for him and me and the exam. yup. well, i agreed to try playing the thing. and i did try. hmmmmmm..... this was what happened last year when vic asked me to play for her grade 8 exam too: she found someone who's played the pieces before to accompany her. yup. well, i'm not saying i can't play at all, or that the pieces were all that hard, it's just that when i'm hurried/pressed to produce, i'll just die there and nothing good will happen. i like doing music at my own pace, more or less. or at least a comfortable pace. ah well. who doesn't. haha. talking crap. hmph.

seems like i'm more diligent in keeping a blog than a diary.
though the way this blog looks is fast getting on my poor little nerves. sigh. shall destroy. soon. when i've worked up the courage to undertake so perilous an endeavour. well. :p
sleepy time.

will post my essay on bimbo-ism when it's complete. :p
zzZ...

hmmm methinks i'm a scaredy-cat. ah well. i absolutely do not perform well under pressure. or i just don't perform at all. sometimes that happens. the pressure gets so oppressing and horrible that i just chicken out. and then i feel stupid. sigh. hmph.
meow.

of epics and tragedies

another late arrival home. this time because of band rehearsal. i took the last train home! so happening. haha. normally i'll get a ride home on the blue bus, but today they decided to go watch midnight Troy. (or was it 1 am Troy) so i took the train home. shrug.

walking along the streets (late at night) alone has a way of making me feel sad. melancholy, if you may. for reasons i know not. add a myriad of other things (eg everything) to it and it becomes a good big bit of sadness. sadness of the... well, "artsy" kind, if you like. don't know. everything's just dark and bleak. for a moment i realised i have no idea what i want to do with my life. i have no idea whether anything i do is correct. or whatever. and i'm acutely aware of what i've had to give up. well, never mind that. and i got home just fine.

ok. i suppose i should know better than to speak of how horrible i feel and how sad i am etc, yet people ask me why i sound so much happier on the blog than i let on. well. perhaps it's just that it's easier to sound happy, easier to deceive perhaps, when i'm facing the computer screen. shrug. but this is not cause for worry. doesn't matter. well. i feel what i feel. whatever.

in other news, i watched Troy yesterday (ie thursday). it's a nice, nice movie, though it seems a bit too much Brad Pitt. but i suppose that can't be helped. he is good-looking after all, and... and he's the star of the show, from stylishly unkempt locks (!) to the gorgeous rest of him and all. and of course the heel. can't forget that can we? :p well. epics are good for the health. it's the battle-thing and the elaborate sets. and it's the music that gives life to the whole thing. movies aren't much good without good music. the score for troy is written by James Horner. (think Titanic) and Josh Groban sang on the soundtrack. yummy. love that song. at first hearing. :p hmmm.. educational movie...:p makes me want to read the Iliad properly. haha. and i learnt that Hermione is a Greek name. :p oh wow. hmmm...Lynette tells me the director of Troy (let's see now, what's his name again?)..Wolfgang Petersen (German guy who did Perfect Storm and other stuff) is directing/going to direct Ender's Game (based on both Ender's Game and Ender's Shadow :p). *ahh* can't wait for that either, but i'm afraid it'll be a long long wait. *fidgets*

i don't what possessed me to agree to try when fatt asked me to accompany his concerto for his final exam. which means i have about 10 days to familiarize myself to the strangers in the score; he told me about it only just now. but the piece doesn't look too extremely difficult, though with me you'll never know when i'll just die while playing. hmmm. hopefully i don't screw it up too badly. it's his exam after all. hmmm. so tomorrow and sunday i'll torture everyone with it. shrug. fears. nerves.

i've finished reading Dracula. hmmm... interesting book, but i thought the movie's more exciting. haha. i'll tell you what i'm reading next when i've decided or when i've gotten hold of a copy of the Iliad, whichever comes first. :]

what a lot i've written.
you poor things..

i have never quite been in a bad mood on the blog, have i?
...

perhaps a part of my brain smoothed over. i can't feel properly anymore. i can't feel for the music i try to play. no rapture. no creative inklings. no no nothing. just a mess of markings on paper for me to figure out and make sense of. shrug. cacophony. feels terrible. how to make sense of anything when i'm still messing up the notes. nevermind. *bish*

watched van helsing today. hmmm interesting movie. pretty pretty. yup. am rather inspired to go dig out the bram stoker book and read it through, for the first time. :p

do i sound happy? perhaps i do. not that it's a matter of great consequence. well.

i don't really have much to say today.
van helsing is a nice movie.

nice sunny weather.
and night skies are so clear they're black. with visible star-things and spacestation-things... and moon-thing!!! of course. :p

should have been good for going out and getting burnt (the 3rd degree sunburn kind) but i couldn't think of anywhere to go nor anything to do. so i sat at home, and tried to retain my sanity. not easy, i tell ya. felt like i was in a hot spring the whole day. eek. sweated a few buckets (i think) just sitting down. sitting down isn't some strenuous activity is it... ugh. watched shrek (finally!) on the fujitsu in the afternoon. :p dilligently making paper stars (and mutilating my fingers) nowadays. i'm determined to finish the lot of shiny paper that's been lying around for ages. yep. hmmm. and now that i have (a lot) more time i'm playing the piano again. trying to pick up from where i'd left off. difficult. sigh. and i can't seem to find some of my scores. so sad. shall replenish. hmph. cacophony every time i touch the piano. ugh. waah. practise practise (for wat).. haha. but i like playing so there. bleh.

hmmm shall go make more stars.
onward!

wheeeee!
i suppose.

hmmm shall try to have fun for a few weeks then start worrying about the results. mwahahaha... well the exams were rather horrible. duh. time again to say: i will study harder (and earlier) next sem. hahaha. hopefully it works this time. :p

hmmm i have so many things i want to do... where to start.. eek. have a stack of books in the cupboard that's been there for ages waiting for me to read. poor books. books to read, people to catch up with, hours of slacking to accomplish, and i have an urge to buy things. like clothes. a first. well. hmmm dig around for money first. sigh. then i take over the world. ha.

right now i'm irritated at icqlite because i think it doesn't like me. waah. it keeps doing weird things. gave up on it. now i'm online without the icq bit. have to say it's rather peaceful. haha. sigh, will do something about that later.

watched princess mononoke today. thanks to lynette. i can't believe after years of playing the score (in band and at home) i finally got to watch the movie. heh. nice nice. melikes nice-looking cartoons. sometimes i don't understand why they have to do the 3D thingy. kind of spoils things. but well. inevitable. shrug. have to find some way of watching the first shrek thingy before the second one comes out whenever. hmmmph. i'm sooo outdated when it comes to these things. since...about 5 years ago. :p i can't really be bothered. most of the time i get whatever updates from the people around me. everyone seems so much more tuned in than i am. ha, i'm only tuned up. but in? never quite. :p and i'm incorrigible. so try harder to get me on msn. so there.

i suppose i'll be spending 2 weeks in june freezing my butt off in various bits of new zealand. then 2 weeks in july sweating said butt off in france (mostly paris i believe). it's a tentative definite. yup. i'll keep you updated on how excited i am. when i actually start feeling excited properly. *heeh* yup.

enough crap for one post. later.